


touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand

by rubber_band_ball



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Canonical Character Death, Claudia Stilinski Feels, Grieving, Guilt, Other, Panic Attacks, Stilinski Family, Stilinski Family Feels, canon compliant (I think)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-30
Updated: 2017-07-30
Packaged: 2018-12-03 00:54:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,105
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11521137
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rubber_band_ball/pseuds/rubber_band_ball
Summary: A brief exploration of how Stilinski men deal with the loss of Claudia over the years.Trigger Warning: panic attack!





	touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand

**Author's Note:**

> I don’t own these characters; I just borrowed them from Jeff Davis, MTV etc. for the sake of this story.
> 
> This is un-betaed and I'm not a native English speaker so let me know if there are any mistakes.
> 
> I don’t give my consent for this story to be posted on Goodreads or any other similar website.
> 
> You are allowed to translate it to another language or do a fan art inspired by it, in which case I would like to see it, so please send me a link. 
> 
> This is my first fanfic y’all. Round of applause for my sorry ass that is now officially stuck in the fandom world. How fitting, considering today is the start of the final season.

* * *

 

*

_Grief is one of the great common experiences of human beings and yet sometimes we feel so alone in our sadness._

_Martha Withmore Hickman_

 

 

***

 

 

One week after Claudia Stilinski dies, Sheriff can’t go near his own goddamn bedroom. All of her things are still there and he knows he should pack them up and donate what he can but it feels a little too much like a betrayal to actually do it. He sits on the couch, glass in hand, staring at the football game on TV and wonders how soon he can return to work and get away with it.

Stiles is in his room, cocooned in the covers, mostly silent except for an occasional whimper. He doesn’t really understand the whole death thing, but his mom isn’t there, and Mrs. McCall said she’s not coming back, and his dad hasn’t looked at him _, really_ looked at him for almost a week ( _his eyes are just a little too similar to hers_ ), and Scott was here earlier but didn’t really know what to do, mostly just fidgeted with his inhaler, and Stiles just really wants to stop crying but he doesn’t know how.

 

 

***

 

 

Three years after Claudia Stilinski dies, Sheriff goes to work and quickly gets sent back, Stiles goes to school and quickly gets sent back, and Scott has long since learned not to ask many questions on this particular day so he just texts Stiles he’ll bring him homework tomorrow and stays away _(they wouldn’t open the door anyway)_. They sit on the couch and watch daytime TV, mostly because neither knows just what to say.

Sheriff wonders what’s happening at the station. He doesn’t take many days off, not ever really, just for emergencies and he always worries he’ll come back to a burned down station. He didn’t buy a new bottle of whiskey after he finished the last one over a month ago and he’s starting to regret that decision right about now.

Stiles stares at the show host trying to determine whether that’s a toupee or not, and how did that lady survive middle school with a name like that when his own actually seems like a mercy in comparison, and why do all the quiz shows have blue background, he knows blue’s more calming for the eyes but green is money so … what gives? It doesn’t really matter because his mind always comes back to the same thing anyway ( _long brown hair, polish name, and golden brown)._

***

 

 

Five years after Claudia Stilinski dies, the anniversary is still incredibly hard. It’s little easier on a day to day basis but even after half a decade, the father and son can barely look at each other when the sad day comes. They tried to have breakfast together but it was a hurried affair where nobody ate nor said much.  

Sheriff buries himself in work, last one in the station in early morning hours. He focuses on helping others and deliberately does not look at the cabinet containing a bottle and a single glass. They’ve been down that road before and if anything it has taught them it’s never going to be just one glass. ( _Perhaps they miss the company too.)_

Every year, Stiles tries to pretend nothing is different. Goes to school, hangs out with Scott, does all his homework. Pretends like it makes any difference how good he’s been to everyone during the day.  He always ends up cocooned in his bed at night, staring at the ceiling, unable to sleep.

 

 

***

 

 

Eight years after Claudia Stilinski dies, Sheriff is at work and Stiles is at home, just about to pop dinner in the microwave when he looks up and sees the date on the countertop clock. He thought it was bad before when he would have realized a month prior what was coming and started bitterly awaiting it but this … this is _so much_ worse.

Suddenly dinner is on the floor and so is he, unable to breathe, convinced he is the worst son ever, and how could he? She was so kind, so good and so beautiful and he _just fucking_ _forgot_! He was so focused on werewolves, kanimas, and hunters, that he forgot his own _mother_.

It takes him well over ten minutes to get his phone with his shaky hands, another five to dial a right number (he almost calls his old friend Dan, and wouldn’t that be a fun call?) and it takes Sheriff another fifteen to reach the house, sirens still blazing even after he leaves the car, just to find his son sobbing on the kitchen floor, leaning on the oven, pieces of the plate smashed and scattered on the floor along with the food.

Stiles always talks. Words rushing out before his brain can even process them and Sheriff has been used to it for quite a while but right now he is unable to get a single word out, just fragments that make no sense. He stands frozen for just a second, and maybe it’s his need to comfort those in need, or the fact it’s his kid and his kid deserves all the happy in the world, or maybe it’s just his training kicking in but then he is on the floor too. He doesn’t know what to do, what words could possibly make it better but he has time and there is no one in this world he would rather spend it with than his kid, so he just holds him and lets him cry. The sirens already woke the whole neighborhood up so there’s really no rush.

They’ll talk later, once Stiles calms down enough and though nobody will really sleep that night, they are together and that makes it a little bit easier.

 

 

***

 

 

Ten years after Claudia Stilinski dies, they are sitting on the front porch steps, enjoying one last beer before Stiles leaves for college, things already packed and stuffed in the back of Roscoe. It still hurts but they are gonna be okay.

 

 

***

 

 

_When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives means the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and **touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand**. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares._

_― Henri J.M. Nouwen_

 

_*_

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End file.
